Vaping Enters the Literary World

vape mania

History has been made once again. If you thought you were going to be the first person to write a novel with a character who vapes, it’s too late.

A new book available through Amazon, Vape Mania: A Newbie’s Guide to the Evils of the Electronic Cigarette, claims to be “the first full-length literary work that has a narrative with a vaper as the main protagonist and vaping as the central theme.”

The 166-page book was published January 27, 2014, under the moniker “Melvin Provario.” The website marketing the book is cleverly titled Vaporacle. (The letter “o” is represented with an oval skull face.)

The front cover has pop-culture icons above a blaze of flames, and includes an endorsement from the “institute for preservation of the institution of cigarettes (IPIC).” The book sells for $9.99 plus a $2 shipping fee. PayPal buttons are included on the site as well as an Amazon link, which for some reason is slightly cheaper.

It should be noted that the back cover includes a parental advisory for “Explicit Vaping” and states the following: “WARNING: this memoir explicitly illustrates the possessive power of this devil drug in graphic detail and is therefore not intended for the faint of heart.”

“Enter the Seedy World of Chronic Vaping Addiction” is prominently proclaimed along with “Follow one man’s downward spiral into the seedy world of vaping addiction.”

Judging by the promo text on the website, Vape Mania hits the funny bone straight on. “Reader responses” posted on the site proclaim “I laughed so hard my tank cracked” (by ‘Professor Kanger, MVP’).

An Amazon reviewer wrote: “The main character is the perfect personification of the mass hysteria represented by the anti-vaping crowd. The commentary by “IPIC” is equally as funny, but also scary because there are really people who think that way.”

The author’s, Melvin Provario, self-description is ghoulishly haunting:  “As I write this only a few stubborn strands of hair cling to my scalp…. My eyeballs protrude like those of a lifeless doll from amidst the filthy flesh clinging to my chiseled skull. My ears have become pink and pointy like those of a pig…. Yet I have no one to blame but myself…. If only I had never put that first electronic cigarette to my mouth, I would still be the man that I once was.”

According to Vaporacle, Melvin is currently in hiding and is “hard at work documenting the instances that occurred after the tragic events depicted in Vape Mania, for a possible follow-up memoir.”

If you haven’t read an entertaining book recently, you may want to give Vape Mania a try. BEWARE! You may experience side-splitting laughter.